Keep it short
‘It’s better if you don’t,’ says Monique Verbrugge, a pedagogical assistant at Partou Het Groene Kroontje. ‘My advice is to keep the farewell as short as possible. No matter how difficult It takes time Monique Verbrugge: ‘It’s not only the baby that needs to get used to going to daycare. Also, the parents have to adjust. That’s why we take extensive time for the intake interview at Partou, so you know what to expect the first time you bring your baby. And very important: We follow the child’s routine at home. That’s how we will get to know your child so it feels safe and secure with us. Which means especially: Lots of cuddling.’ it is for both parents and children. Recently a mother dropped her three-month-old baby off for its first morning. Like most parents, she found it stressful. I advised her to do something fun and give us a call to hear how things are going. To reassure her, we sent her a little photo, shortly after, of her daughter laying on the playing mat.
Send a tekst
‘To leave when your child is crying is hard. But Monique’s experience is that -nine out of ten times- the child stops crying as soon as the parent is out of sight. ‘And then we usually send a message with a photo to let them know how everything is going. You don’t want a parent to go to work feeling bad. And of course, they can always call us. We believe it is important that not only your child feels safe and familiar with us, but you as a parent too. It’s your child we take care of.
It takes time
Monique Verbrugge: ‘It’s not only the baby that needs to get used to going to daycare. Also, the parents have to adjust. That’s why we take extensive time for the intake interview at Partou, so you know what to expect the first time you bring your baby. And very important: We follow the child’s routine at home. That’s how we will get to know your child so it feels safe and secure with us. Which means especially: Lots of cuddling.
What the day may bring
‘Although the child’s sadness never lasts long, we always comfort the children by taking them on our lap, cuddling them, and by repeating the routine of the day. We do the same thing when a child is missing their father or mother later in the day. We mention what we are going to do and that there will be a moment when daddy or mummy comes back to pick them up. This makes a child feel secure. We do it in the same way with a baby, but we also just give him a lot of cuddles.’
Remember, it’s a phase
Crying when saying goodbye is often a phase. Monique: ‘A baby may, for example, be afraid of strange people or is battling separation anxiety. Not only the drop-off in the morning can trigger some tears, but also a person strange to him who enters the group can make him cry. Babies also don’t understand yet that you don’t disappear forever when you leave. It’s all part of emotional development. How strong the reaction is may also depend on your child’s character.’
No vanishing act
Whether your child does or doesn’t cry when you leave, Monique emphasizes the importance of always saying goodbye. Give your child a hug or kiss and tell them why you’re leaving and you’re picking him up again. ‘Even if you think: My child is happy playing, I’m just leaving. If your child is done playing and sees that you are no longer there, he can feel abandoned. So never disappear ‘suddenly’.’
In collaboration with ‘Ouders van Nu’ (Today’s Parent)
Every day, ‘Ouders van Nu’ (Today’s Parent) selects interesting news from within and outside the country specifically for (expecting) parents. They focus on tidbits that make (expecting) parents better, happier, or wiser. This article was written in collaboration with ‘Ouders van Nu’.