"When Riff was twelve weeks old, he started daycare at Partou location Veurselaan in Voorburg. It was a new facility that was very convenient for us, because our daughters' after-school care is on the same premises. The adjustment period was immediately challenging. Riff cried a lot, refused to sleep or even take a bottle, despite clearly being hungry.
Extended settling-in period
After two weeks of settling in, we worked with the caregivers to develop a plan. We were allowed to bring him more frequently but for shorter periods, so he had more time to adjust. Eventually, he spent only about two hours there each day. I would bring him in between feedings. It was a tough time. You just want your child to have a fun day, not to find him distressed every time.
Mom's T-shirt
During that period, there was a lot of communication about what would be best for Riff. Everyone brainstormed, including caregivers from other groups. At some point, we managed to feed Riff. We did it in the car seat, without eye contact. Eventually, with a piece of my worn T-shirt over the caregiver's arm, we succeeded in feeding him while sitting on their lap. The same applied to sleeping.
Missing mom
Now Riff is in the toddler group, and thankfully, things are going better. Because he’s older, he’s able to communicate better about what's going on and what he needs. However, he is still clingy. He asks for me several times a day, which prevents him from fully engaging in play. He is also very attached to familiar faces, like Ellis. If she's around, he always has a good day. Though thankfully, he doesn't have really bad days anymore.
Difficult goodbyes
Morning goodbyes remain a challenge. Riff still struggles with them. I don't linger too long; that's also the advice from the caregivers. But of course, leaving your crying child behind doesn't leave you unaffected. It sometimes truly saddens me. However, it comforts me to know that the sadness often subsides within a few minutes. And luckily, there's the Konnect parent app. It allows me to check if he's having a good time. That also provides a sense of reassurance.
Proper preparation
I'm incredibly grateful for the daycare center and have great respect for the way the caregivers interact with the children. Their work should be appreciated more. It's not just a babysitting service. They know what they're doing and are a valuable addition to our parenting. I also see daycare as a good preparation for Riff's transition to elementary school. He learns to wait his turn, develops social skills, and gets used to spending more time away from home."
"Bringing something familiar from home is comforting for a child"
"What really helps children who struggle with adjusting and miss their parents is proper preparation," says pedagogical employee Ellis from the Veurselaan location in Voorburg. "As a parent, it helps to inform your child about who will be on the group that day. It provides clarity. Bringing something familiar from home is also comforting for a child. Riff often brings a stuffed toy. And when he's having a difficult time, we try to distract him with fun activities and tasks. We read a book, choose toys, or prepare fruit together. We always send parents a message, regardless of how things are going—whether it's good or not so good. We want parents to feel at ease at work, especially if the farewell was challenging and accompanied by tears."
In collaboration with ‘Ouders van Nu’ (Today’s Parent)
Every day, ‘Ouders van Nu’ (Today’s Parent) selects interesting news from within and outside the country specifically for (expecting) parents. They focus on tidbits that make (expecting) parents better, happier, or wiser. This article was written in collaboration with ‘Ouders van Nu’.